Like many of you, I dreamt of what I thought was the ideal man and, the ideal relationship and marriage. As many of you did, I too failed over and repeatedly at trying to force this “vision that I had” not once thinking that I should simply wait on the Lord. This quest in the end caused me to become a single parent.
I can see now after much spiritual growth that in spite of my failings, Jesus Christ blood was there to cover me even in desperate situations. His grace was sufficient for me to raise my son and grow from strength to strength daily, feeding on his word and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide me.
As we all do at times, I slipped once or twice and almost lost my way [Psalm 73] as I tried to make something happen that God did not ordain for me. We have a hymn in our church that says “Oh what the joy and the glory must be, those endless Sabbaths the blessed ones see; crown for the valiant, to weary ones rest; God shall be all and in all ever blest…” This was the beginning of knowing what it God had prepared for me and, the joy in waiting patiently for His will to be accomplished.
As I waited I prayed the following scripture “Be patient, then, Cecilia, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains.” [Paraphrased James 5:7] I had watched many of the television evangelists and their spouses, and I prayed for a marriage of ministry; where my husband and I would be evangelising and ministering healing to people everywhere.
Guided however, by the Holy Spirit I began to read and understand the Song of Solomon; I read extensively Proverbs 31 and commentaries on the same. However, in spite of all this, I thought this was my doing, it didn’t sink in right away that God was preparing me for a marriage of ministry nor was I willing to concede that He also was directing my prayer.
Eventually and after a wonderful courtship with my friend of several years, I began to come to terms with the fact that the husband being prepared for me was not in the church, nor was he from the same ethnic background or race. [I had for a time been a friend to a nice man from Canada who had emigrated there from Australia in the early 70’s, a time when I also had been a frequent visitor to Canada visiting my cousins]. Little did I know that this person was “God’s ideal mate for me”. Although he did not profess to be a Christian or born again, he did say that he need to change his life and asked me to join him in this endeavour. I agreed and to my pleasant surprise he proposed marriage and to this I also agreed.
To my sad surprise a month after our wedding in March 2002, my husband found out that he had cancer of the lung [primary] and the spine. What a BLOW. GOD how could you? Needless to say, I cried out in my despair reminding God of His promises and His reply was this… “You asked for a marriage of ministry”. I in turn answered back, BUT LORD this is not what I meant!
He simply repeated, you asked for a “marriage of ministry.” Finally, ‘all the lights’ went on in my head and heart. I realised that God had prepared and equipped me for such a time as this. I began to move away from the question ‘why God’ to ‘help me Jesus’.
Believe it or not a peace that is unmatched at any other time in my life came over me and I knew that God was working His purpose out and was using me. You see my husband had left the church after his divorce some 15 years ago and, was now back in the church, not only going with me on Sunday’s but participating in renewal weekends and especially joining the bible study group.
Many nights we read the ‘Pilgrims Progress” a book that we both read as young adults, before we knew each other. As we read together or watch the television I would rub the area that the radiation left sore and I do it joyfully, I rubbed and prayed – Lord let your healing touch be felt through my hands. Sometimes I felt God’s hand over mine, as I got tired, helping me to continue to minister to my husband.
Give us this Day
Now you are asking yourself, how did I cope? We’ve only been married a short while before this tragedy took place. As I continued to question God, he reminded me that one day is as a thousand to the HIM and he only promised us the day. Reflect on the Lord’s prayer where Jesus taught us to say, “give us this day…” he didn’t say each day!!! We are therefore to be mindful that God is in all and in all ever blest. Those of you who are married and going through rough times, remember that God is able and willing if you will turn the matter over to him.
Reflect on this: Gentlemen, are you doing in the home what you have been called to do: head of the home as Christ is head of the church – 1 Cor. 11:3, Eph. 5:23; protector and provider-1 Tim. 5:8, 2 Cor. 12:14; spiritual leader – 1 Cor. 14:34, 35; Deut. 4:9, 7:11. Ladies are you doing your part as outlined in Proverbs 31 and 1 Peter 3:4. Be warned, without God’s word guiding you, the enemy can get a stronghold and make life unhappy.
Those who are stilling waiting for your spouse to be presented to you by the Lord, stand daily on the Father’s words of encouragement and be nurtured by the Song of Solomon s you wait for marriage. MARRIAGE IS MINISTRY; ladies minister to your husbands and gentlemen minister to your wives. Seek God in every situation. Study the scriptures found in Isaiah 54:5; 62:4,5; Hosea 6:16 and Ephesians chapter 5. Remember His words “wait on the Lord and HE shall strengthened thine heart.” [Psalm 27]